As of today I am full term, or 37 weeks. You could come into the world at any time and not be considered pre-mature. I am in awe of my body and its ability to literally make you from scratch. Skin has stretched, organs have moved, and you have been built one cell at a time for the last 9 months. Consider my mind blown.
I feel like I saw the positive test, blinked, and now I am full term. I am sure when you turn 1, 5,10 years old, etc. I will feel the same way. Like I blinked and all this time flew by. I am trying very hard to soak in every memory I can of these last few weeks of my pregnancy with you. So if in 27 years you find yourself exactly where I am now, pregnant with you first child, I hope you ask me what I remember from those final weeks of carrying you.
I will tell you that in those last weeks I was incredibly hormonal and emotional. Every time I felt like I just could not possibly be pregnant one more day I would lay my hand on my belly and your little foot would swipe across my palm. I could feel your toes and your heel and my eyes would literally fill with tears while sitting at work (see, I told you I was emotional). You had this habit of wedging your little behind up and to the right, and would stretch your legs out so that it felt like you were literally touching my spine. I liked to joke that it was your very first yoga pose, in utero staff position.
I will tell you that you were so good to me throughout this entire journey. I was rarely sick, was able to run through 27 weeks, and my worst symptom by far was the tiredness I felt. I will tell you that I felt an immediate connection to you while you grew inside of me, and I could not wait to see where that connection would lead us.
I will tell you that there is not much that surprised me about pregnancy. I knew I would like 90% of it, would tolerate and fight through the other 10%, but there is one aspect that completely blind sided me. And that was just how much more I fell in love with your father during this time.
Your father and I fell head over heels in love with each other very quickly. And I can say with confidence that this deep love never really wavered in our time together. From this deep love I found a best friend and partner. I had no idea that as my belly grew the love I had for him would grow to a new level as well. Instead of the head over heels, crazy, fast love I had for him when I was 20 years old, I now felt an old, deep, and comfortable love. The kind of love that people talk about at their 50th wedding anniversary. The kind of love that makes you feel like the other person is literally an extension of yourself. Like your roots have grown together and you have no choice but to be together for the rest of your lives.
I know you are comfortable in there and will probably not be ready to join us for another few weeks. But just know that we are waiting and ready. There are so many people who are excited about your arrival. You, Ella Grace, are already so loved. Your grand parents, great grand parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, “aunties” (mommies friends from college), and so many more cannot wait to hear about your arrival.
I cannot wait to meet you, hold you, love you. You can come anytime. Mama and Daddy are ready for you.