The Dark Cloud Descends: Prenatal Depression

I am so sad to be writing this post, but the time has come to really lay it out there.

For as long as I can remember I have battled some sort of depression or anxiety. I have always said that my natural state of being is just slightly depressed, and I have combatted it with medication over the years and then eventually figured out how to overcome this slight depression with physical activity, yoga, and eating well.

In the years before having children , my depression and anxiety were completely in check.  Anytime I would feel myself slipping back into that state I would battle it the best way I knew how, with a good run or a few days of good clean eating.  It worked every time.  Then I had Ella and battled baby blues, and eventually went on medication for Postpartum Depression (PPD).  The medication gave me the boost I needed and the better I felt, the more I did, so the better I felt.  I am not ashamed of my battle with PPD anymore ,  and only wish I had recognized and accepted it earlier in my motherhood journey so I did not lose that time with Ella.  I feel that it took me 11 months to truly fall in love with her, and I have come to accept and honor that.


When I became pregnant with Addy, I had a plan.  I would go on medication the minute she was born.  I wanted to completely avoid the debilitating feeling of PPD.  I kept trucking along throughout my pregnancy, encountering major morning sickness, kidney stones, and everything else that comes a long with pregnancy.  For the most part I was incredibly excited to be pregnant again and could not wait to welcome my new little girl into the world.   I kept up my physical activity and ate really well, only gaining about 1/3 of the weight I gained when I was pregnant with Ella.


About two weeks ago I felt what I call the “dark cloud” descend on me.  I was irrationally angry and sad ALL THE TIME.  I cried and yelled.  I was so tired during the day, only craving my bed, and then when I would finally get to fall into bed, I could never fall asleep.  I would toss and turn for hours, getting mere minutes of sleep at a time and then Ella would wake up at 5:30 AM and the entire cycle would start again.


I felt exactly like I had when the dark cloud of PPD had descended on me.  I knew what I was feeling was beyond the realms of what is normal, and decided to do some research.  I had never even heard of Prenatal Depression before, and had no idea it was something that could be an issue.  As I learned more I realized this was exactly what I was battling, and I needed to take action.

I combatted this depression the exact opposite way I did PPD.  I really cleaned up my eating, I committed to getting on the elliptical at least twice a week.  I told Stephen right away, I told my closest friends, at my next doctors appointment I will tell my doctor.  I will not hide this, and I will not shy away from it.  I will completely embrace it and battle it head on.  There will be no telling myself it is normal and I will be ok, and just put one foot in front of the other, and tomorrow will be better, and all the jazz.



This is my reality.  I will be forgiving with myself, and I will TALK about it.  As soon as Addy is born I will start medication, and for the first time ever I will not worry about how long I am staying on it.  Eventually when I am done breastfeeding and my hormones regulate, maybe I will be able to wean myself off and go back to physical activity and organic foods as a solution to this problem, but if I cannot I will not worry about it.  I need to be the best me I can be for my family and for my girls.  And if that includes being on antidepressants for the rest of my life, then so be it.  It is only a small part of who I am, it does not define my entire being.  It has taken me 15 years to finally come to this place, but man, it feels good.

Did you battle PPD or prenatal depression?  Tell me about your experience!

Spring Has Sprung

Happy hump day!  We are getting a little glimpse of what spring and summer will be like up here in the Northeast, and it is nothing short of glorious.

On the warm days we have been outside right away, complete with white Easter shoes, Elsa pajama tops, hot pink gloves, and sidewalk chalk.


There are so many great playgrounds in our area that I cannot wait to explore in the coming weeks.  I am especially on the hunt for playgrounds that have great little kid areas that Ella can navigate by herself when I have a newborn strapped to me at all times.


This warm weather makes me so excited for summer and the impending arrival of our newest addition!  It also makes me very aware that baby girl will be here sooner than later and I really need to get a move on preparing for her entry into the world.  In the coming weeks we will be transitioning Ella to a twin bed, washing LOTS of newborn clothes, and setting things up like the swing, the car seat, and the Rock N Play, and making a run at potty training.  Any advice on the twin bed transition and potty training would be incredible.

I hope your week has been filled with sunshine, iced coffee, and GORGEOUS flowers!  or whatever it is that makes you smile :)


Day in a Life

Day in a life of a random Tuesday as a pregnant stay at home mom to a 2 year old :)  I love reading about how everyone else spends their days, especially people who are home with little ones.  Enjoy!

5:24 AM: I wake up on my own, see the time, and leap out of bed.  Ella is still snoozing, Stephen is still snoozing.  I can have some much needed alone time with coffee!  Lets do it.

I make my way downstairs, tongue scrape, fill my daily pitcher of water with lemon, and throw in a load of laundry while the coffee brews.


5:40 AM: I sit with coffee and my book.  I am reading Mindful Birthing , in addition to taking a 3 week course in May.  I am hoping to have some more tools in my box for this upcoming labor and avoid getting an epidural so early i the process.


6:45 AM:  Ella starts to stir so I fill a milk cup for her, hang up the laundry, and suck down the last of my coffee before making my way upstairs.  Ella and I snuggle and chat in my bed for a long time while Stephen wakes up.

Stephen and I are SO different when it comes to the morning.  He takes a long time to wake up, preferring to lay in bed for as long as possible and getting up at the last minute before jumping i the shower.  I open my eyes and get right up .  Neither of us understand how the other could POSSIBLY start their day the way they do!

7:24 AM: Ella and I go downstairs while Stephen FINALLY gets in the shower.  I top off her milk, give her some cheerios, and turn on Sesame Street.  While she watches her show I get our stuff ready to head to the gym later this morning.


7:47 AM: Stephen is out the door and Ella and I are on our own for the day!  I make some breakfast and sit with her while she watches Sesame Street.




8:30 AM: Breakfast is eaten, Elmo is over, and its time for our daily wrestling match of getting dressed.  Ella likes to run a lap around the house before taking off or putting on any clothing.  Its really hilarious and I try to just let her do her thing instead of getting impatient.  If there is one thing I have learned since having a toddler its that I am really not in THAT big of a hurry.




9:10 AM: We arrive at the gym!  I check Ella into child care and hop on an elliptical.  I do 45 minutes while watching “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, my very guilty pleasure, before doing some lunges and squats


10:10 AM: Shower , blow dry and get dressed at the gym.  I just started doing this and its genius.  I get an uninterrupted shower without having to waste precious nap time.  Originally we were going to grocery shop after my workout, but my friend, Eve, who is currently on maternity leave, texted me while I was on the elliptical to come hang out.  YES YES YES!  Mama chit chat and holding an adorable newborn?  That definitely trumps grocery shopping.


12:15 PM: We arrive home after picking up Subway for lunch.  Since we skipped grocery shopping we still have no food in the fridge!  A ham sandwich for Ella and a veggie flat bread for me.  A few bites of lunch, an Elsa dress up session, and a few renditions of “Let it Go” and we are upstairs for books and nap time

1:20 PM: Nap time success!  Time for mommy to do some laundry and read her book.  I am savoring these last few weeks of alone time during Ella’s long afternoon nap before baby girl is born.  I feel no guilt about putting up my feet and thoroughly enjoying my afternoons


3:30 PM : Up from nap time!  Into the car and off to the grocery store!  Her bed head is always amazing after nap time, and she will not let me near it with a brush.  While grocery shopping I bribe my child with a donut to get her to stay in the cart.  She eats it quickly and is then begging to get out.  It was nice while it lasted :)  I spend the remainder of our time shopping chasing after her and trying to give her little jobs to keep her busy.  Needless to say, we forget half the things on our list.



5:00 PM: I start our dinner while Ella eats hers.  Pasta with hidden veggies and protein for Ella, and pasta with meat sauce for us.

6:00 PM: DADDY IS HOME.  Best part of the day :)  While I finish dinner Stephen and Ella sing the ABC’s over and over and over and over x 1,000 while pretending to nap.  Ella and Stephen have such an amazing relationship.  She adores him and it totally melts my heart.


6:20 PM: Into the tub!  Its a big night, new tub crayons!


7:00 PM : Books, essential oil on the feet, brush teeth and into bed for Ella.  Dinner, dishes, and couch time for mama and dada :)

9:35 PM:  I cannot hold my eyes open anymore and need to go to bed.  I am shocked that Stephen joins me.  He usually stays up much later than me.  Good night!

My days seem mundane and boring to some I am sure, but I would honestly not trade it for the world at this point in my life.  I am desperately trying to enjoy this season of my life and not worry about things like lost earning power in the working world or lack of 401(k) contributions.  These are precious years with my girls and I will never get them back, focusing on THAT makes staying home much easier.

How do YOU spend your day?  Does it look like mine or much different?

Toddler Time

I have said it before, and I am sure to say it again.  Mornings are my absolute FAVORITE time of day.  Especially when, like today, I am up before everyone else in the house (including the sun) and have a giant cup of coffee in my favorite green mug in hand.  Even if said coffee is half cafe and I can really only have one cup.


This week I officially entered the world of being a full time stay at home mom.  I have dabbled in this life in the past, but it was always for quick little quips before adding more yoga classes to teach or taking on a part time accounting position.  This time though the gig is for the foreseeable future and I am really really excited about it.

This weeks weather gave us a little sneak preview of spring and summer and my entire self is just giddy with excitement.  We spent most of the morning Thursday at a playground with Ella’s cousins , and despite some mud and some wind, it was amazing to be outside.


This weather is giving me visions of summer time.  I picture Ella playing in the yard, Stephen grilling, and me with a baby strapped to my chest and a death grip on a glass of white wine.

We are in full on toddler mode in our house lately.  Especially when it comes to dressing ourselves.  Ella is very opinionated when it comes to the pajamas she wears, even if it means wearing ones that are from last halloween.  i think she would wear pajamas all day everyday if it were up to her (with a princess dress or two thrown in there) .  A girl after my own heart I tell ya.


Yesterday we were off to swim lessons nice and early and baby girl insisted on staying in her pajamas , but putting her Easter shoes on as well, and carrying a beach bag as a “picketbuke” (pocketbook).


I love her imagination, and her hilarious antics keep us on our toes and constantly laughing.  Oh how I love her so.

Cheers to the weekend!  And, if you celebrate, have a wonderful Easter !

Life Lately

Hi friends!  Remember me?  It is 5:30 on a Saturday morning and all I want to do is update this little blog of mine.  So lets dive right in.


I am officially 30 weeks pregnant and counting!  This pregnancy is FLYING and continues to be very different than what I experienced with Ella.  I am experiencing major insomnia this time around and I am already feeling the need to nest.  Yesterday I was organizing my downstairs bathroom at 6 AM, something I would never do at any time of day while I am not pregnant.  Baby girl also moves ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT LONG.  Ella’s movements were always very deliberant, crazy, and ended as soon as they started.  This one rolls gently and pokes at me from the inside constantly.

I am 90% sure we are done with having kids after this one is born.  So I am trying to savor my big belly, enjoy the kicks and flips, and wrap my head around the fact that I am almost done with babies.

baby bump 30 weeks

blurry and terrible work bathroom bump selfie


Shortly after writing this post, I was contacted by my old investment accounting firm to see if I would be interested in working part time through busy season.  I gave them my demands (3 days a week, no working past 5:30, no weekends, and an hourly rate I felt was reasonable) , found child care, and started 2 days later!  It was only a 3 month position and it ends this coming Tuesday.  I am so grateful for this opportunity.  It gave me a chance to make some money before baby #2 is born, got me out of the house during the most bleak winter months, and exposed Ella to day care.

hooray for school

I cannot say enough great things about the daycare we chose!  Although drop off was usually a struggle, Ella always had so much fun with her friends .  She was able to meet new kids, learn new things, and most importantly learn that even though someone besides Grandma , Mommy, or Daddy was taking care of her we would always be there at the end of the day to get her.  They even had this wonderful program called “Tadpoles” which allowed me to get pictures throughout the day everyday.  I would like her to start pre- school in the fall , so this was a wonderful stepping stone!

After this gig is over, I will truly be a stay at home parent.  Instead of being nervous about the transition like a few months ago I am really excited about it.  I cannot wait to have my two girls and be there for everything at this point in their lives.  I am truly blessed that I have the ability to stay home, and I do not plan on taking it for granted.  There will obviously be hard days, but I am looking forward to the challenge and to enjoying this season of my life.


I stopped running around 25 weeks pregnant.  This baby is sitting VERY low, and the constant bouncing of running was just too much.  I am sticking with walking and elliptical workouts for the time being, and some great strength training that leaves me feeling strong and tones, despite the increasing size of my body.  I miss my hard and fast workouts so badly.  I cannot wait to be able to run again, I cannot wait to have those endorphins, and I cannot wait to get cleared to exercise again after this baby is born.  I am planning on following the t25 fitness and nutrition program.  I have always loved Shaun T, and do his “Fast and Furious” workout often.  25 minutes a day, 5 days a week seems like something I can handle as a new mom of two, and I cant wait to tackle this new challenge!


Oh my gosh, this little girl.  She turned two in February and she is truly the light of our entire life.  She is social, and out going, and hilarious.  Her vocabulary is exploding, and she amazes me everyday with the things she knows and can do.  Her imagination is wild and her love for life is truly contagious.  With all the spunk and spirit comes some pretty wild toddler tantrums.  But we are learning to deal with them one day at a time.  We follow the 1-2-3 Magic method and I have found it really helpful.  I feel she is a little young for time outs to be truly effective, but as she approaches 2 1/2, I think they will be making a appearance in our parenting.

We are starting things like a big girl bed transition and potty training.  I feel like I was just researching newborn soothing techniques yesterday, and I have no idea how my baby has grown up so fast.  Everyday is better, everyday is easier, and everyday I fall in love with her more and more.

I need to devote an entire post to an Ella update, because she is just at such a fun age right now!




So that is my life lately.  Lots of work, baby growing, attempting to workout, and soaking in every bit of one on one time I can with my little girl before our world is truly rocked !

Winter Has Come + A Treadmill Workout

Ok, it is really really cold out.  Like cannot feel your face or your hands and the air literally hurts your skin. Why do I live in New England again?  I always question this decision in the winter.  But every year, without fail, Connecticut quickly regains its wonderful charm in the form of beautiful springs, summers, and falls.  You cannot appreciate the good without some bad, right?  We are braving it by staying home and eating pancakes and drinking copious amounts of coffee.  Life is hard, right?


Today I come to you with my new go-to treadmill workout!  We re-joined the YMCA before Christmas and I am SO happy about this decision.  This membership comes with 2 free hours of child care each time you go.  Even though Ella struggled at first, she now loves going to the child care room.  Yesterday she even ran into the child care room shouting “Bye Mama!  Hi Kids!” .  Jack pot.

Going into this pregnancy I was not in as good of shape as last time.  When I became pregnant with Ella, I was fresh out of marathon training and my body was in tip top shape.  This time around?  Not so much.  I am trying to stick with a run/walk routine that ends up having a pace of 12 minutes / mile.  Not speedy by any means.  But I still get a nice sweat from this, and some wonderful endorphins.

Screen Shot 2015-01-08 at 9.15.29 AM

If I have the energy and the time (and there is something good on the treadmill TV), I can usually convince myself to walk until I hit 4 miles.  I try to do this workout 3-4 times a week and for now that feels really good.

On days I am not running I am walking and doing some weight training.  I am working on a post that features my pregnancy weight training routine.

Do you have any go-to treadmill work outs?  Any tips for battling boredom on the treadmill?

Its a…



Adeline Taylor Peters

You were a wiggly little thing during the ultrasound yesterday.  You made the technician work extra hard for the right picture to know your gender, and kept Mommy and Daddy on our toes the entire appointment.  You looked perfect, and are developing just as you should.

I cannot wait to meet you, little one

Pregnancy #2- Everything (and I mean everything) through 18 Weeks

Time for a pregnancy update!  Very wordy post below !  Here are all the nitty gritty details about this pregnancy so far!

As a form of birth control I was using the Mirena IUD, which I had implanted about 8 weeks after giving birth to Ella.  I had this device removed on August 19th, and was told it would probably take my body a few cycles to regulate and not to expect to get pregnant right away.  I began to spot right away, but never really got what I would consider a full period.

We started to try without really trying.  With my doctor telling me that it could take a few cycles, I felt no need to start to track my temperature or pull out the ovulation test strips.  We became pregnant with Ella so easily that I figured it would just happen again.  I was really flying blind.  I had no true cycle start date to go by and the IUD had been implanted for nearly two years, so I had no idea of a possible ovulation point in my cycle.  I had no real idea of when a test could possibly be positive.

We continued to live our lives, and even had an amazing long weekend in Rehobeth Beach for the wedding of a very dear friend the weekend of September 20th.  Having no idea when a test could be positive and knowing that this wedding with college friends would have the beer and wine flowing, I decided to bring three different tests.  One to take the morning we got there, one before the rehearsal dinner, and one before the wedding itself.  All three were negative, I had the time of my life , and I figured we just didn’t get pregnant this cycle and it would work out before the end of the year.


On the morning of September 30th I woke up at 2AM and literally SPRINTED to the bathroom.  Barely making it before getting sick.  I was sick and dry heaving for the next 3 hours .  It suddenly dawned on me about an hour into this horrid affair, “Wait.  I must be pregnant.”  So I got dressed, went to work, and taught what will go down in history as the worst yoga class EVER.  After class I high tailed it to the CVS around the corner, bought two EPT’s and walked as fast as I could back to my yoga studio.

Less than 5 minutes later I was greeted with a thick , dark second line.  I was genuinely shocked.  When I took my first test with Ella I had to squint to see the very vague second line.  But here it was, glaring back at me, irrefutable evidence that I was pregnant.  I. WAS. SHOCKED.


I immediately called Stephen, who did not answer.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays at that time I was out of the house by 5:15AM and he was in charge of the morning.  Getting himself ready for work and Ella ready for her 7:30 pick up from Grandma.  So to say he is busy on those mornings is really an understatement.  Eventually he called me back, I told him the wonderful news, and he could not have been more thrilled.  We were going to be PARENTS again!  To a new BABY!  Truly amazing.

At that point I was 5 weeks along, and showing a due date (according to Baby Center) of June 6th.  I immediately was having symptoms that I simply did not experience with Ella.  Immediate weight gain and bloating, and EXTREME nausea to go along with it.  I expected to show sooner than I had with Ella since this was my second baby, but the constant all day nausea was a total and complete shock.

I ended up being incredibly sick through the entire first trimester.  I vomited at least 10-15 times a day, I ended up losing weight, I cried from pure exhaustion everyday.  I could not believe how different this pregnancy was than the one I experienced with Ella.

I ended up getting a prescription for Zofran and this was a total game changer.  If I ate something before lifting my head off the pillow in the morning, took a magic little pill, and then drank a bunch of water ALL before getting out of bed in the morning then I could usually manage.  I had to eat something bland every two hours or else the nausea would come back and once that happened it was like I entered a dark hole of vomit and dizziness and nausea that I could not escape.  I lived on Eggo waffles and was truly surviving hour to hour.

Somewhere around the 11 or 12 week mark the dark cloud lifted and I was able to function again.  My energy came back, my appetite returned, and I started to feel like myself again.


My last day of truly terrible sickness was the day before Thanksgiving when I was visiting my family in Pennsylvania.  Luckily it ended by Turkey Day, and I was able to celebrate with friends and family.


Once my energy returned the weeks really started to fly by.  I am running again, going to regular prenatal yoga classes, and trying to embrace this time in pregnancy where I am not yet uncomfortable but I still have a glorious belly to rub.

Running has been wonderful.  I am even trying to sneak in walks on my off days.  Finding my old “The O.C.” DVDs has made the treadmill that much more bearable.  Does anyone else remember that show from high school?!  One of my all time favorites.


So far I have gained 8 lbs, which is less than half of what I gained at this point with Ella.  I am trying my hardest to not gain 50 pounds this time around.  Last time that made everything harder.  It took over a year to lose the baby weight, and it took me a long and sad time to get back into running shape. I have lived and I have learned, and this time I plan on doing things differently!

So here I sit, 18 weeks and counting.  I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is flying by.  I am trying to enjoy this lovely second trimester feeling for as long as possible!

Glorious Mornings

I have always been a morning person, so its no surprise that my absolute favorite meal of the day is breakfast.  I firmly believe that mornings should be enjoyed and they truly set the tone for your day.  Since I have a VERY early rising toddler and we do not need to be anywhere on days I am home, breakfast always feels luxurious and amazing.  I know someday soon there will be school to rush off to and children will not as willingly get out of bed.  So I am trying to savor my mornings as much as possible while I can.  There is always fresh brewed coffee (I have this pot, which I always set the night before, other wise sometimes the coffee gets lost in the shuffle and never made.  Which is just unacceptable in my eyes).  I love to make big batches of homemade pancakes and waffles on the weekends and then freeze them for easy breakfasts during the week.  I love the taste of fresh fruit in the morning.  And I love the sound of cooking eggs.  Breakfast is my spirit animal.


Lately I have tried to pack as much nutrients into breakfast as possible .  I find I make better choices throughout my day (at least when it comes to food) when I make a good choice first thing in the morning.  That being said, I have a few morning must-do’s as well as a go-to nutrient packed (and easy to make!) breakfast to share!

1. Tongue scraping.

Tongue scraping is something I started practicing when I learned about Ayurveda in Yoga Teacher Training.  This is an oral hygiene practice that is exactly what it sounds like.  Using a tool to scrape the tongue to remove bacteria, toxins, and other yucky stuff.  You can read more about tongue scraping and why it is so good for you here.  I feel like the yucky morning feeling that is in my mouth when I wake up is instantly gone when I tongue scrape, and its nice to know my body is not reabsorbing the toxins it pushed out onto my tongue during the night.

2.  Warm lemon water

After tongue scraping I always drink a tall glass of warm lemon water before ingesting anything else.  It helps get things moving in my digestive track, and gives me a nice natural boost of energy.  I was not someone who believed in the magic of lemons until I actually started to do this myself.  Now I fully believe that this habit not only gives me energy, but it helps with my skin, cleanses the liver, and keeps me hydrated.  On those early mornings when I a limited in my caffeine intake because of pregnancy or breastfeeding, this habit is a life saver.  Read more about why this is so good for you here.

3.  Layered Yogurt Bowls

My relationship with yogurt has always been up and down.  When I first set out to lose a few pounds after college I thought I had to choose the lowest calorie yogurt that tasted the best (hello Dannon Light and Fit).  As I learned more about processed foods and how to properly fuel my body, I turned to organic greek yogurt .  I will go through spurts of having greek yogurt everyday followed by periods of time where I cannot even look at one more container of the stuff.  Right now I am in love with it and I am having it every day.  For this mornings layered yogurt bowl I used chia seeds (these things are magic, I tell you!), Stonyfield plain organic greek yogurt, blueberries, walnuts, a banana, a few pomegranate seeds, and raw oats.  I layered all ingredients in a narrow glass dish so that it looked picture perfect.


And then proceeded to mix it all together and gobble it down with an extra large mug of half caf. This was eaten at 5AM (yes EATEN at 5AM.  Ella was up at 4:30 today!  YIKES!)  and I was not hungry until well past noon, even with a 3 mile run thrown in there.  A breakfast that is delicious, fast, and keeps you full?  Yes please.

Do you have any morning rituals that you follow?  What is your go to breakfast? 

Goodbye 2014…

As 2014 comes to a close I am feeling very reflective.  Looking back at the year and wondering what I did right, what I did wrong, and what I can do better in the coming year.

This year coming to an end feels especially bitter sweet.  At the end of the year I will hand off my duties as manager of Downtown Yoga. Without going into too much detail, the owner of the studio could no longer afford my services and I find myself without a job as we head into 2015.  I am sad because I so enjoyed my position at Downtown Yoga.  I loved the people, I loved the instructors, and I loved knowing that I was helping to deliver yoga to the masses.  It will be odd to find my footing as a 100% stay at home mom for the time being.

I truly enjoyed the juggle of working part time, it gave me enough time outside of the house to still feel independent and enough time with Ella to feel like I was still very involved with her life and upbringing.  I am honestly very nervous about this transition, especially since we are heading into some very bleak New England winter months.  I am going to have to work hard to still carve out me time, especially since there is another little one on the way !

And with that, I leave you with my resolutions for 2015!

 1.  Make myself a priority.

Again, this will be especially important as I transition into a life as a stay at home parent.  It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day aspects of running a house and raising a child.  Wake up early, coffee, breakfast, morning activities, lunch, nap time, afternoon, dinner time, bath time, bed time, repeat every single day.  The three things (outside of my family) that I truly love in life are fitness, friends, and food.  I will aim to utilizing my gym child care, make prenatal yoga a priority every Monday night , ensure I make time for girls chats over large mugs of coffee (and larger glasses of wine) , and keeping my kitchen interesting and low stress.  One aspect of being a stay at home mom that really excites me is that I feel I will be able to really focus on the health and well being of my family by making sure we are well fed with wholesome foods and wonderful home cooked meals.

2. Make my marriage a priority

I believe that transitioning into parenthood is one of the most wonderful , yet the most difficult things a marriage can experience.  Over the last almost 2 years I feel that Ella has become the dominant priority in my life, and not only have I suffered as a person but my marriage has gone through some hard times as well.  With long hours of work and short hours of sleep, tensions can sometimes run high and its easy to allow resentment and hostility to creep into even the most loving relationship.  We are at our best when we make time to communicate with each other, eat dinner together, go to bed at the same time, and do not just zone out in front of the TV at night.  I want to invest in finding a baby sitter we like, and in becoming more creative with what we do together.  I really like the idea of at home date nights that do not involve the TV, but instead cooking a wonderful meal together in the kitchen.  Talking, drinking, cooking and coming back together not as parents but as two people who love each other and chose to spend our lives together



3.  Transition into being a mother of two

I have no idea what being a mother of two will look like.  I am excited to see Ella become a big sister .  I am very excited to witness all those amazing milestones of the first year again, but this time with the seasoned eye of a mother who has been through it once and who knows that all things baby, both good and bad, are so very fleeting.  This time, with the knowledge that eventually most babies sleep, I am excited to savor those middle of the night feedings.  This time, with the knowledge that it will get easier and less painful, I am excited to breastfeed and actually take the time to enjoy the feeling of empowerment that comes with knowing you can provide everything your baby needs with your very powerful body.  And this time, with the knowledge that the weight eventually comes off, I want to be more forgiving of myself when it comes to my “post baby body”.  The theme of this transition will be patience and forgiveness.


Actually, I believe this is going to be my theme for the entire year of 2015 as I transition into being both a stay at home mom, and a mother of two.  Patience and forgiveness, yes, lets start there :)